Suicide

As part of my Summer Project 'Silence: Black Dog', I have talked about the recent suicide of Brittany Missen and touched on my own depression and anxiety.

Having spent the usual time on Pinterest today, I started a new board on suicide. I looked at the feelings of those who feel suicidal, attempt suicide, succeed in ending their lives and also at the aftermath for those left behind. In the majority of cases no suicide note is left, unlike in the movies. This leaves so many questions for the family and friends, for which there often are no simple answers, especially if it was completely unexpected.

Having let it all mull around in my head I felt I wanted to write something in response:

Suicide

Everything stops . . .

Silence . . .

The world is still revolving . . .

The clocks keep ticking, reminding you that in spite of the end of life as you knew it, as you didn't know you loved it and wouldn't, NOW, have changed for the world . . .

You can't eat, why would you . . .

To eat, breath or unforgivably, laugh, would mean life was moving on, continuing . . .

But that isn't possible, how can it, it isn't right . . . is it?

No, we must mourn as no-one has ever mourned before . . .

We berate, flagellate, wail . . .

But mostly, we just ask, ‘why’? . . .

They were loved so much, meant so much, were such a good friend, so many memories, so many laughs . . .

So we look back at the photographs . . .

Can we see a change? . . .

Were the eyes dead, when the face was smiling? . . .

There aren't really answers . . .

For them . . . there was either so much pain, that if it were physical, you would hear the screams from the moon . . .

Or there was nothing . . . no pain, but equally . . . no pleasure . . .

Just . . . a never ending vision of nothingness . . . no hope . . . no joy . . . nothing . . .

Stretching further than they could see . . . further than forever . . . .

Suicide.

Bill died too Young

Really sad news last night, someone else died too Young, ironically his name was Bill Young. He loved life and lived it to the full, traveling the world and making the most of every day, posing, messing around and generally being great fun to be around by all accounts. This is definitely my memories of him. I particularly remember a party at his house and a surprise birthday cake for me, bbq in the garden, messing around and the sudden realisation that the neighbours had recorded us being twits and were playing it back. The last communication I had with him was to send a photo of watersports at Felixstowe Ferry and the hope he might come up, but sadly not.



He died on Tuesday at Combe Gibbet in a paragliding accident, probably with a smile on his face.

Life is short, seize the moment, you don't know how many more moments there may be. Bill, you were an inspiration to us all and my thoughts are also of your family and what a large whole your loss must leave. One of his many friends put this video together, sums him up well.

Love to you Bill xxx